My Crapshack

[Harley Scarow]

Timed Never Again

Remember what happened yesterday?
Remember what happened the day before?
Remember what happened before that?
Now, remember what happened today?

Tell me what happened.
Tell me what you experienced.
Was it something you expected?
Something new that excited you?
I want to know all about it.
I want to know everything that happened.

Why don’t you sit down and tell me?
Tell me exactly what you saw.
Tell me how you reacted to it.
Were any of your friends there?

I’m telling you, you can trust me.
All you have to do is answer the question:
What happened today?
Was it fun?
Was it something you wanted?
Why won’t you tell me what happened?
You know that I won’t bite.
If I did, you’d probably already know.

Oh well, I guess you’re a silent person.
I know a lot of people like that.
They’re the kind of people who don’t trust.
Don’t worry about it—I’m used to that.
It happens all the time to me.
At least I know one more thing about you.
Even though I don’t know what happened…
At least you bothered to come over…

Well I guess you ought to be going now.
Sorry if I bothered you on anything earlier.
If I said something bad, please tell me.
At least you decided to come over.
The truth is I wanted to tell you one thing.
But I wanted to hear what you had to say.
At least I won’t be alone when it happens.
Yeah, I want to know about how you think.
But…

[Harley Scarow]

What Happened?

Remember what happened yesterday?
Remember what happened the day before?
Remember what happened before that?
Now, remember what happened today?

Tell me what happened.
Tell me what you experienced.
Was it something you expected?
Something new that excited you?
I want to know all about it.
I want to know everything that happened.

Why don’t you sit down and tell me?
Tell me exactly what you saw.
Tell me how you reacted to it.
Were any of your friends there?

I’m telling you, you can trust me.
All you have to do is answer the question:
What happened today?
Was it fun?
Was it something you wanted?
Why won’t you tell me what happened?
You know that I won’t bite.
If I did, you’d probably already know.

Oh well, I guess you’re a silent person.
I know a lot of people like that.
They’re the kind of people who don’t trust.
Don’t worry about it—I’m used to that.
It happens all the time to me.
At least I know one more thing about you.
Even though I don’t know what happened…
At least you bothered to come over…

Well I guess you ought to be going now.
Sorry if I bothered you on anything earlier.
If I said something bad, please tell me.
At least you decided to come over.
The truth is I wanted to tell you one thing.
But I wanted to hear what you had to say.
At least I won’t be alone when it happens.
I wanted to know how you think before...
But…

[Harley Scarow]

Waiting For You

Here I am, there and waiting for you.
You told me you’d come here later, right?
Like around the afternoon, afterwards.
You said maybe later, when there was time.
When there wasn’t any need for school.
There wasn’t any need for anything there.
I know I always tell you I have things to do.
When everything I do is simply nothing.
Hey, at least you didn’t make fun of me.
Unlike the rest, you were actually a friend.
You didn’t tell me white lies like them.
You actually meant it, so I’m happy.
A lot of other people would lie to me.
Mostly about meeting them so they hurt me.
But you’re here because you’re my friend.
So when are you coming again?
You told me to wait outside the school.
At least, that’s what I think you said.
Here I am, waiting, this is going to be fun!
So I wonder, when will you be here again?

I bet when we play together, there will be lots!
It will be so much excitement, right?
Like the way we planned yesterday, yeah!
It will be the two of us, simply there.
We promised nobody would bother us.
Mostly because we would hang out…
We’ll be at the movies…
We’ll be eating at dinner…
We’ll be kissing in the dark…
Wow, we have a great night ahead.

Okay, you’re taking a little long.
Well, I guess you must be preparing.
You want to look good for me, right?
Yeah, I tried my best to look my best.
Hopefully, that’s good enough.
Wow, you sure like to take a long time.
It must be a girl thing, right?
Well, this is my first time on a date.
I guess I should be more patient today.

Wait…
You’re not coming, are you?

[Harley Scarow]

Remembrance of My Death

A piercing blade strikes through my heart,
staining with erubescent as I leak overdue.
How a small mistake and curiosity contempt,
could lead to eternal never walking back?
A irrevocable sight, but gloriously donated me,
yet egregious error in wills and development.
Of a deserving ghastly and slothfulness losing,
venturing into minds of what will occur after.

How when the wretched darkness seeps into me,
tormenting me deep inside, evoking it strongly,
my blackened and purple poisoned soul…
Without a planned memory so to speak, hear,
but without words to ever realize forgotten keen.
Break apart my spongy, decaying brain, nothing.
Because one direction leads to a dead end pit,
for without realization regrets eternal wandering.

The ones I care for leak with sorrow and lament,
wandering the dark alleys without a tiny bit to eat,
without any hope or light or passion to move on,
but knowing they must live without me, tormented…
How everyday walking downs the rainy streets?
Torments their forcefully abandoned minds, trapped.
And I wonder what made them end up that way,
when they are so much better without me backing.

But I am ephemerally passing by their torments,
wishing I could have done something better…
But in the end, they deserved the emotions,
feeling nothingness from slothful trustfulness…
How they deserve to lament about my loss,
when they do not even know I am forever gone.
But seeking their quavering sounds through alleys,
raping them with the acid rain, splashing and burning.

Let them forget about me forever in the walks.
Caligo is truth for one and all, losing myself.
Memory never serves correctly, doubtfully true.
For their pathetic moping on forgotten grounds.
They do not realize I am below their dirty feet,
six feet under, without remembrance of any kind.
And soon they will appreciate the true life,
of how much they’re forgetting without me…

[Harley Scarow]

Within Eyes of Forever Lies

Seeping surfaces face your appearance,
gazing into whatever strikes first will.
First time meets gazing loving,
but to illegal hatred of hated attraction.
Wanting hearts of first forever sight,
but closing down without doors of shining.
Beaming at you, asking you simple ones.
Why you would come over, without knowing.
Knowledge of answers, inquiring day by day,
wanting to lure you into innocent’s guilt.
How the opposites of glossing everything,
beams directly at burning suns and stars during
the nighttime forgotten of how lasting gazes.
Remembering meeting beginning, seeking inside,
never recalling, yet forever sighting amazement.
Even lacking creativity means lasting highs,
leaping and vaulting to fullest extent, laughing.
Whenever seeing familiar complexion, wanting it.
Again and again, seeking eyes of familiar wisdom.
But sooner forgetting of fullest existence,
of meeting first and smiling gawking repetition.

As is before once was, seers knowledge nothing.
Closing gazing, forever daze all refreshing dark.
How chasing down past lanes, grassy meadows,
and simmering sunlight refuses remembrance now.
My it, there to reveal within the soaking rotations,
for show of inner rewards and punishment ribbon.
Because beyond hers viewing present reveals it,
how the tormented souls of crushed lives in past,
in reality tortures and torments discovering finals,
and darkens views and eyes forever existing,
blackening wretched souls and endless rejections.
Correction hideous showing redundantly being,
even as flickers with blues and browns and yellows.
Flavoring favors run down another familiar eyes,
covertly sealing and guarding truth in beyond seek.
Skulls past mistaking hatred are indeed correct gone.
Disappearing into eyes of errors irrevocable forever,
going and finishing running from forever staring.
How those eyes lie day by day, forever and ever.
Without trust and they refer back to how shining light
is eternally giving eyeing rudely egregiously forgotten.
Avoid forever rumors, and embrace running arrival.

[Harley Scarow]

All Excluding Me

He walks past by,
greeting everybody he sees.
They are all of his friends,
they are everyone he knows.
Wait, I’m somebody he knows.
Why didn’t he stop at me?
I wonder why isn’t it?
Wait, he’s probably waiting.
Saving me for last, eh?
Yeah, that usually happens.
Hey, at least I get something!
Somebody told me how true.
Patience is a virtue. That’s it.
So now it takes a little while.
I’ll eventually get the greeting.
Of all people, I know that I count.
Because I’m supposed to be a friend.
Somebody included because it is.
Mostly I guess it was meant to be.
To see you past by and be last again.
But the last is for the best, right…?

Being used to the same face,
passing by every single passing day…
It’s something I’m already used to.
Friends are there because there are turns.
Turns for me to be included at once…
Learn about me for once, just because.
Wow, I sure can be rude, can I?
At least I count. At least I’m trying.
Hey, I’m just one of you guys.
We’re all in unison, now are we?
Oh wait, I forgot I’m not too good.
At least I’m there to be greeted.
Because we’re friends regardless!
Yeah, I thought about it a little.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been talking.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been grinning.
If I didn’t earlier, then when could I?
We only see each other once a while.
It was the only time I could see you.
Wait, I forgot about this other person.
Yeah, too late! He’s already done greeting.
And I was excluded. How typical.

[Harley Scarow]

Ripping Electrical Wires

The little bully bothered my little brother
He approached him and took his friend away
and began playing with the friend like it was his.
Then my little brother ran over to me
and told me somebody was bothering him.
I decided to do something I couldn’t let this go on.
So I walked over to the face and looked at him.
Directly in the eye without any talking, I hate him.
He told me he was just playing but I said no
because he touched my little brother.

I don’t care because my little brother can do
whatever the hell he wants to do but he decided
to ruin the fun by touching him accidentally in the back.
I can never forgive the moron who decided to be so
brave and touch my little brother even a little on there.
I hate him so much, I want to get even with him.
How dare he do it, especially when there is a
silver gate guarding the entrance into and out of here?
He deserves it even if he was playing
it wasn’t my idea of playing.

My little brother wanted me to get back at him
because the bully was too stupid to do anything
and wanted somebody as tall as him.
But the bully did not realize that nature was on my side
fighting without will until I could do something.
How the court he was so used to being on
was actually a razor ready to be chained down his neck until
ripping across his throat showing how small he was.

Yes, because I take the electrical wire
lying on the ground, six feet under him with the will to
take him there forever and lasting below the dirt.
It was shocking, but I wanted to torture him so I did.
I took the wire and wrapped it around his neck
and he thought I was just playing but he didn’t know.
He touched my little brother and he will regret it
so I hold my hands like the devil’s vorpal blade
and tightened it with great resolution to hurt him.
He thought I was playing around like he was
so when he woke up he realized he wasn’t moving anymore.

And he was shocked, out of my eyes.

[Harley Scarow]

Murder Under Bed

It’s the place you always eventually go,
whenever the shadows of the nights come,
reaching upon the skies and blanketing around,
and you never see anything but yourself.
You trust it to relax you and allow you to live,
for another day by sleeping another night,
yet you never realize the deep consequences,
you do when you lie down on the bed.
How the innocence of nothingness reaches,
slowly into the veins you carry on the elegant,
concealed through white skin yet ever
purging through the beds with vibrations.
And even when you never know the sorrow
forming inside of your mouth for tomorrow’s
rise and sunlight’s lack of cowardice,
it still moves under there, your wetness.

Yes, they say you should sleep on your dreams,
the everlasting wishes you wanted to have.
The things you always wanted because you
knew it would never belong anywhere else.
The genders you were similar with because it
wanted to leave hotness within dark blankets.
And then you know you have one of your own,
showering over you like you’re the one it truly
loved in daylight’s reality, but nighttime’s hatred.
Now you know it’s literally true in facts,
wrapping around your coziness without fear,
warmth is a gift without the raining lavas.
Before it’s the after flowers and banes and
dancing fairies in pinks keeping you safe.
Yet once it remains lack of seeing self,
you true realize it too late, without even will.

Then you are cold and it slowly wraps under you,
tightening without lacking will to warm you.
Then another loving person comes into the room,
and tightens it even more because she loves you.
And then she feels your fever, knowing coldness,
and tightens you with another blanket.
Then you know you’re tied up for the moment,
and it gets tighter and tighter until no more.
Now the true regret, with motionless green,
of the suffocation burning murders under the bed.

[Harley Scarow]

Happy Angels

Flying magical creatures,
floating above my head,
with all of this emulating
dancing happiness, rising up.
They are smiling, truly
showing happiness we are
meant to feel deep inside.
And we should shed light,
because they will do so,
everyday of their lives.

Yet they can never be poignant,
even when they know genuine,
the life affliction below them.
But even upon all of this
caused red insanity,
they smile with expect.
How their leader will
help them ultimately.
Assist in faltering all the
dooming tragedies hopelessly
beneath them day after day.
They timepiece over us,
with imaginings and circles,
to burnish gold on our hearts.

Yet they will never discern,
they make me be ill with.
How they can blissfully
beam all ephemeral day,
is nauseatingly vile.
They are on the brink above it,
our rotting, dead bodies.
And they don’t give a damn
about what we do.
It’s since they wish to
castigate us with their
shattering sallow wings.
Their hovering halos,
sliver through my veins.
Their beautiful fabrics,
suffocates me upon sight.
How their presence punishes,
my lament is their delight.

[Harley Scarow]

Beaming Jealousy

The moon runs down on your
beautiful face to explain your
cherished essence you were gifted.
Shining insanity of genius,
warping realities flashing slowly.
How hidden the so forth
crafted artistic words deliberately
gentle addition giving endless
elegant grieve for me to so forth
red lamentable accounting gestures.

The beauty cost owning so
jobbed relocation leading
pressured slowly drifting away
existed dimension of
realized me and accepts the joy
worked you bring with words.
Seldom knowledge of loving grasp
a worried you willfully attempts
brimmed everyday since entrance.

Met together and little relevance
kind reliance friendship commence.
Thoughtless rewards showering me
genius me not so as well.
The reunion of your words
cooled spoken well meaningless.
Beauty stored within mousey face
crazy dazzle whims I ask.
The opinion crazed asking
hateful hypocrite myself asking.
Pleading forever to be at same level,
you never understand what I am.

Of how the beauty you made,
cost me so much of my life.
And you made my face green,
forever and ever sorrowful.
How something I loved to do
you took it and made it better.
How you destroyed my position
battled my niche and won,
I’ll take it away from you,
even it takes away my life.

[Harley Scarow]

Mourners

These wanderers guard inside my yard
feeling the pain long last gone…
The pain they should have
forgotten when they mindlessly
thought it would make it all better.
Saying releasing leaving of once was
makes it better yet hypocritical to own
forsaken events purging through the
willing minds putting inside grieves.
Once lost experience is put to rest
losing forever is but an elegant rose
breasting itself onto their face
Cursed memories drastically
feuding itself inside eventually
curses itself back to itself mourning.
The short-lasted experience soon
revives itself into long-lasting suffering

without touch,
without feel,
of why it would begin with it.

How they truly think
wandering in the past would
vicious making it better…
An egregious error in mind,
gifting agility passing away
was a simple gift ever crassly
assuming revival regenerates…
Then their melting red tears
fluids the ground with more
lost memories to ponder on…
And then it grows more painfully,
grieving and growing on itself.
Time repeating, losing bondage,
pain them after death’s gift…
Their coming of age which was to
arrive sooner would eventually
dwell morbid sinfully resting…
How their tears will never
revive but decompose for the
moving maggots eating themselves
devouring their skulls and brains.
Then they’ll learn when to mourn…

[Harley Scarow]

Shadows

Raining down on the streets,
Flashing them upon the night.
Hiding revealing during the day,
existing invisibly when you can’t see.
Living alongside you with the hopes.
Realizing it will never be as good as you,
because it’s simply a shadow of yourself.
The remaining shining reflection there,
when covered shielded in utter darkness.

Wishing to escape from the binds tying down.
Then they will ever soon grow realize,
how the lights have showered and hidden them.
Far too long in suffering motion behind it,
the grasping darkness consuming and soon.
Reality’s shattering truth dreaming on itself
reeking without a shadow of a doubt,
how clavicula creeping following actions
stalking behind stepping wheels and again
truly crass steps flipping upon nothing.
Uncontrolled wills being forced towards
hosting ambition and following reactions.
Will never have its own will when it clearly
wants to be its own creature but fearing.
How itself shining rare conditions are a
needed fear but useless rejection dwell.
It will never have its own freedom but it
wants it to happen once and for all.

Yet the freakish gift never remembers,
the generous flickering lights beating on and off,
beating up the swallowing darkness secretly
traveling in the dark chasms trapping the ground.
Immune to anything but the sharpness blade
edging itself along the cross of the cemented real.
Yet weapons blades through the moving creature
shadowing crosses and sharp knifes and axes.
How it can ever reject the owner and ever so
need the creature so badly, every passing day.
How when the creature dies from natural reality,
it dies as well, completely trapped under the
forcing weight of the host it preserved for so long.
When the shadow world finally becomes real,
it will find itself, already forever gone and dead.

[Harley Scarow]

Storm Clouds

The overhead shadowing itself over my head,
crossing over the threshold none of us can control.
It is too high and we know we’re all scared,
fearing the grasping wills we want to fly above,
yet can never because it is against the rules.
Then the thunder surging begins to attack,
simply because I am cursed with lying below.
The overshadowing clouds guarding themselves,
in my backlash resulting hiding with inside.
Wondering why I would never emerge,
breaking my fear of the crushing thunders forming
above me with raging thunderbolts and quick
blowing bolts beginning to throw themselves.

How the storm begins to finally rain down the sky,
and invite me outside when the weather is best.
Crushing loudness gifting itself onto targets,
running away from potential reception of standing.
The circular revenge quick as traveling bolts,
simply because they actually are, forever is.
The linking bolts of shaking cloud movers reeks,
shining with edges crashing into eternal revenge.
The tears of the deities above beginning to rain down,
slowly recycling for another quick death,
below the vengeful earth wishing it wasn’t there.
Yet wanting the blades they surge through the skies,
everyday every now and then wanting more to come.

Then I decide to fight my fear,
of the potential shocking death if I
advanced outside without stimuli
result itself into my loss of trees.
The plants hiding themselves,
I stand like a simple lightningrod.
Asking the thunders to finally shock me,
ending the horrible life I have,
in a flash without any suffering I stand.
The tying binds and rejection rubber never
resists itself onto my skin when I stand.
Contempt above all in actual complexion,
I wait and wait, wondering when the blades
rip through lightning swords my flesh.
Then storms clears I am ready to go highway,
and I stand there, waiting for the next one.

[Harley Scarow]

Blue Moonlight

The moonlight above
rays into the
rippling waters
bouncing back with
waving drops
dancing one by one
with the beautiful
living whiteness
falling in the drips

It shakes rarely,
the being of glow once
used to be,
blurring approaches.
Like the moon’s
nighttime rays
brimming and
beaming elegantly into
sparkling blueness
quavering bellows

Shiny mansions
overlook the natural
risking lakes
pondering about
altering colors
natural ruined
arriving footsteps

Then fearsome hands
wave into the water,
polluting the disasters
tormented within
aged liquids and vapors.
Wrapping itself around
slowly moving creatures,
the humans are ever so
drowning within the
true blue rippling waters.
The blue moonlight
reaches and punishes those
acting poorly relentlessly
towards the shining lake
reflecting back at the blue

[Harley Scarow]

Howling Moon

When the sun
falls and the moon
rises, the wolves
emerge from their
desolate caves to
search for cowardice as
howling at the moon
fearfully attentive
upon the cries of nights
and seeking white glow
rising upon their
brilliant eyes once again

The raging roars of
approach quickly
shiver through
running spines
alerting haunts
speeding through nights
foraging the willows
passing through it
once and today for
reaching tomorrow

The moon forever
beams in their ever
strong hearts deeply
longing for next prey’s
silent questions
beyond darkness and
pausing winds from
gray leaving furs
determined staring eyes

Survival of the fittest
answered by alpha male
wishing and willing
falling and risking
moon’s shine it
leaves again until night’s
impending glow they
appear once more to
stare into the sky’s
howling moon

[Harley Scarow]

Climbing, Never Reaching

The morbid soul
climbs from the deep pits
wandering why he was
sent there and will never
emerge as long as the fire
burns through his leg
trapping him once more
beneath the dark chasms to
suffer for what he had not
done when he was
above on the normal sands
dragged down onto
browned sands to everyday
cry and regret over nothing
he had forever not done

Then he falls back down
to the painful pits
absorbing his attempts and
punishing him even more
satisfying nothing but self
wondering why he had been
laid to punished all sorrowed
day and silver nights
slashing through his
rocked body over until he
plans for tomorrow’s
endeavor at day’s never
rise and truthful approach

Then it finally
arrives and he endures
climbing up the eternal ladders
to the surface once more,
then it breaks down on him,
caving him in the walls,
holding him inside alive
he never can die,
and he lays in there trapped,
regretting forever,
breaking out once more

He climbs and he climbs
and never will he reach out

[Harley Scarow]

Violet Star

When the purple sun
burns into vapor skin
tears it apart lightly
revealing red rivers
poisoning once more
weakened skies cry
shattering white clouds
altering cowardly smog
chased away slowly…

Punished ashes go
rise from forbidden dust
scattered over suns
shielding white skins
reddening once more
from liquid vapor
assisting and harming
reaching eventually
punishing arms pushed
slowly and slowly more
until fading away
purpled clouds long…

Then all melts true power
held back by beginning
falling into white ruins
over nothing but us as
constraining releases
gardening roses burn
too much and too bad
the flesh and guard we
carry on our bodies
fading away into
crimsoned anger
is blaming more…

Then us wondering why
occurrence helpful pain
when the true sunning
today and forever
irrevocably seeking
revenge for constraining
How we met power
the purple sun…

[Harley Scarow]

Running Away

I am running away
from your reaching

I am running away
from you chasing after

I am running away
from you trying so hard

I am running away
from you doing this to me

I am running away
from your forever grasp

I am running away
from you trying too hard

I am running away
from your disgusting hands

I am running away
from your cares in the world

I am running away
from your lips and touch

I am running away
from your approaching hatred

I am running away
from your secrets and lies

I am running away
from your luring traps

I am running away
from you coming by

I am running away
with nowhere to go
because you’re chasing

And I’ll come back

[Harley Scarow]

Recurring Nightmare

Upon a night's relaxation,
the bed invites claws,
waving voraciously with
impacting lure snatches.
The pink snuggles gently
wrap around your eternally
innocent mind gestures,
the deviously controlling
blankets showers over face.

Then you are awake again,
but in your own imagination.
The loss of reality conquers,
revolving rejected problems,
ready to be solved internally.
Of how thoughts are real,
and slash and bashes mind,
over until the winding breaks,
is a recurring nightmare.

[Harley Scarow]

We're Almost There

Life is too short
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when you can
Apologize when you should
And let go of what you can't change
Deeply and forgive quickly
Take chances. Give everything
And have no regrets...Life's too short to be
Unhappy. You have to take good with the bad
Smile when you're sad. Love what you got
And always remember what you had.
Always forgive and never forget.
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret.

~By Monique Bruce